so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Randomize
