So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
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