Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
