you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Randomize
