well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
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