we made out on top of his cat.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Randomize
