You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
This can only be settled by a dance off.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
