Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Randomize
