While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Lo siento on account of my penis...
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Randomize
