Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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