Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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