your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Randomize
