Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
