There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
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