It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
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