Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
Randomize
