The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Randomize
