How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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