Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
