I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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