dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
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