just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
