She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Randomize
