all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Who did Billy Mays play for?
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Randomize
