I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Randomize
