In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
