ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
She even gives head with a lisp.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
