Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Randomize
