his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
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