I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
