bring money and cleavage
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
