there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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