dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Randomize
