are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
Randomize
