Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Randomize