Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
