how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
