Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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