Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Randomize
