guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
