that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
Randomize
