The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
We had sex on a dog bed..
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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