her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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