Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Randomize
