Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
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