Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Randomize