I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Randomize
