Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.