If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.