ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
18 People Are Kind Of A**holes But Also Completely Hilarious
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.