Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
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Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.