It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize
