i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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