Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
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