Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Randomize
