At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Randomize
