Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
