Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Randomize
