so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
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