You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
My brain says no but my pants say off.
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
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