You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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